i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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