I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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