I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
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