Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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