my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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