I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize