And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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