It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
True strength comes from lack of pants
All I want is dick and wine.
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