Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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