I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Also, beer. Big fan.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize