I want to make a zoo with you.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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