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There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
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