I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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