I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize