Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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