I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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