I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
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Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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