I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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