I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize