"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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