How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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