Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I pour the whiskey from now on
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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