In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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