how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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