ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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