I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
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My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
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I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
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