I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Randomize