I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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