I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Is Oprah even human
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize