sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize