If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize