I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
It's just like the Real World with babies
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize