omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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