I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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