Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize