You smell like a Billy Joel song
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize