i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize