O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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