he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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