I didn't shave. On purpose
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
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i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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