I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
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If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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