So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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