How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Those nachos came to me in a dream
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize