I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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