i jhust puked up my retainher.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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