names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
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To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
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Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
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