I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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