Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
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Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
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I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Come on in and take your pants off
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