I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
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was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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