could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize